Consume Feces and Expire

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Blogsters Note: I wrote this initially in a blind rage. After reflection I went back and revised it to make it less fulminating. I do not for a minute think children (or adults) frequent this site, but it was over the top. Now it is Civilized.

Hey, you politicians out there. You gutless gobs of worthless protoplasm. And you Lobbyists. The NRA. You with your endless other-peoples money and unbridled desire to remain in your perk-filled jobs at the public though. Yeah, you anal sphincters. You are who I am talking to. And the ones that elect you.

Why do you citizens think there are no meaningful gun control laws, something to keep crazy people from getting serious weapons? It’s because the rectums you elect would take money from anybody and justify it as long as they can keep their job. You could throw their parasite-ridden posteriors out every two years. But no: you don’t think your man is bad, only the others.

I’m a gun owner. I have a carry permit. I am a person that believes in protecting yourself and family. But I also believe that no one needs an assault rifle. Not for home defense – a shotgun is better –  not for hunting – a bolt action is better. You perhaps do not know this unless you have hunted, but guns used for sporting purposes have limited magazine capacities. This is in accordance with state and federal laws: shotguns typically are limited to three or four rounds, and so are rifles. This is ostensibly to give the birds and animals a fighting chance.

Your basic semiautomatic large magazine assault rifle would be illegal as a hunting firearm because of the number of rounds it holds. If a Game Warden caught you stalking a deer with one, you would be fined. They are only useful for killing masses of people. That’s why soldiers carry them.

The fact that a crazy man can get one and shoot children, and then have the (expletive deleted) politicians do nothing because they are in bed with the old white guys in the NRA is simply unbelievable. If a space alien came here and saw it, that monster would wonder how this species has survived, being so careless with the lives of their progeny. They would wonder exactly what kind of fuckheads humans are. Then they would probe the orifices of some NRA people and see what kind.

The answer is easy: Throw the politicians out. Start over. Make your primary voting criterion, “is he is office now?” If so, vote against him. Get some new crooks in. And remember: if you happen to pass by one of them and he is on fire, do not even stop to urinate on him.

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What th’?

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Why should we give credibility to a rodent like this when it comes to forecasting future weather? There are plenty of other, just as dumb animals we could use to advise us. Bats. Rats. Cows. How did this particular one get the honor?

Or is it all of them? Is the aggregate wisdom of every woodchuck combined to give the final viewpoint? And notice these things also are known as groundhogs and marmots. Pretty suspicious, having all these aliases.

There us something funny going on here.

Enough!

No mas! Twice in the last few weeks I have been assaulted by Christianity. Yeah, that’s right, the religion. Right after Xmas I went to eat in a hamburger joint and found that the owner had printed all the paper items – bags and place mats and such –  with Bible sayings, things like Psalm stuff. And he erroneously conflated his god and America. And then I was reading a library book by some author and found that he was throwing in shovels full of Jesus about every five pages. I closed it up. I would rather eat a bug than be beat over the head with religion. Any religion. All religion. These items just happened to be Christianity, I think the kind that believes the bible is the literal word of their god.

In any case, that author (I won’t name him for fear of causing him to go bankrupt) is off my reading list permanently. I am tired of them always hollering that they are being picked on. Here in Georgia, as regular as Ex-Lax, the Legislature brings up something called the ‘religious freedom’ act to try to get it passed. They say they are being put upon by the rest of us. WHAT A CROCK. Listen, if anything, it is the other way around. They don’t like drinking? Then get it outlawed. At least on Sunday, which is some kind of magic day for them. They are free to practice their religion anyway they want. What they are NOT free to do it impose it on anyone else.

Why should these citizens, with their clutching, zombie-like fingers, get to tell me or anyone that doesn’t follow their magic what to do? When to do it? Bah. I think there needs to be a giant sign that would warn potential eaters or readers that the owner or author is a Jesus freak so we can avoid them. If they are so proud of it, why don’t they have this warning?

I Hate Solitaire

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You know the card game solitaire, the one called ‘Klondike’? A lot of people waste a lot of time playing it because it has come free with Microsoft Windows systems for some time now. You can also play a real game of it, using actual playing cards.

I hate it. A large number of games are unwinnable – maybe 21%. That means about a fifth of the time, you are beaten before you ever make a move. What kind of stupid game beats you before it even begins. It’s as if you went into a tennis match where you didn’t have a racket. Or if you entered a shooting contest and were issued blanks.

It isn’t a game if you can’t win. Bah.

We’re Done Here.

My PICC

So now I’ve finished converting all 22 of my e-books to paperback format. They are available at CreateSpace. But I warn you, They cost a zillibuck. Why would anyone pay that for a 300 page paperback? I have no idea. I know I wouldn’t pay it.

But it is a goal and now I can say to all the other authors that taunt me that my stuff is available in print also.

I am still working on numbers 23 and 24. Hahahahahahah

It’s Not Gonna Happen …

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  • It didn’t happen when it was politicians.
  • It didn’t happen when it was black churchgoers.
  • It didn’t happen when it was country music fans.
  • It didn’t even happen when it was schoolchildren.
  • It ain’t gonna happen when it’s white churchgoers.

Can the anti-gun control crowd explain why we cannot keep semiautomatic rifles out of the hands of crazy people?  I am a gun owner. I know the utility of weapons. I understand why a hunter needs thirty rounds of rapid fire to kill a deer¹. But should that limited need mean that anyone can get one anytime they want? I’m just askin’.

 

¹Said with tongue very firmly in cheek.

Reading a Book?

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If so, you are probably in the minority of humans. I have been recently converting all my e-books to paperback format so they are available for those that want a real book instead of electronic bits held together by magic.

I found this outfit (you all probably knew about them long before this) called Createspace, where they do POD (print-on-demand) books. That means there is no money exchanged until a customer actually throws down hard money. at which time Createspace prints the book and ships it to them.

Converting the books from text documents to a printable form has been an education. A print book is far more complex than a grouping of electronic charges. I have 21 books. So far I have converted 5 of them. And I think maybe I am wasting my time.

You see, at the end of the process, when you finally have a print-ready interior and cover, and have chosen the print size, cover finish, and such, they tell you what the minimum cost must be. That is the cost to print the thing, plus their profit. Nothing for the author. Even that price, the minimum, is more than most would be willing to pay. A common 200 page paperback costs $7.52 to print. That means if the author is to get anything, he must charge at least $8.00.

And that is absurd. You can go to a normal mall bookstore and get professionally printed paperbacks for the same or less.

The bigwigs like James Patterson or the well-known like Tom Hanks get their books printed in bulk  by their publisher as a benefit. The legions of self-publishers do not get this, so their actual paper books are prohibitively priced.

That is why I do not expect to ever sell one of these. And I might just give up on converting them. It takes a lot of tedious formatting and is unlikely to get much ROI.