The Ballad of Davy Crockett

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You may remember the song The Ballad of Davy Crockett, Music by George Bruns and Lyrics by Thomas W. Blackburn. It was released in the mid-1950’s. I’ve been thinking about some of the lyrics.

“Born on a mountaintop in Tennessee”. That doesn’t seem logical. Even 18th century Tennesseans would know better than to build a homestead on top of a mountain. No access to water, very difficult to get to in any kind of bad weather. There were no paved roads, no grading so that trails were not too steep. I suspect people in the late 1700’s wanted to make access to necessities as easy as possible, so they built on flat land when they could.

But this is the most onerous: “Kilt him a B’ar when he was only three.” Even given that Davy was a clever and efficient outdoorsman, this seems unlikely. A child that young would have difficult even reaching the trigger of a long musket while holding it to his shoulder. And that’s assuming he could even shoulder the weapon. They are long and heavy. It seems as if the B’ar would have had him a child snack instead of the other way around.

Anyway, it’s something to think about.

Blogsters Note: I might add that another famous American woodsman, Daniel Boone, also kilt a b’ar. He was so happy with the accomplishment that he carved it into a tree, so they say. Lots of b’ar killing going on in those hills.

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Consume Feces and Expire

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Blogsters Note: I wrote this initially in a blind rage. After reflection I went back and revised it to make it less fulminating. I do not for a minute think children (or adults) frequent this site, but it was over the top. Now it is Civilized.

Hey, you politicians out there. You gutless gobs of worthless protoplasm. And you Lobbyists. The NRA. You with your endless other-peoples money and unbridled desire to remain in your perk-filled jobs at the public though. Yeah, you anal sphincters. You are who I am talking to. And the ones that elect you.

Why do you citizens think there are no meaningful gun control laws, something to keep crazy people from getting serious weapons? It’s because the rectums you elect would take money from anybody and justify it as long as they can keep their job. You could throw their parasite-ridden posteriors out every two years. But no: you don’t think your man is bad, only the others.

I’m a gun owner. I have a carry permit. I am a person that believes in protecting yourself and family. But I also believe that no one needs an assault rifle. Not for home defense – a shotgun is better –  not for hunting – a bolt action is better. You perhaps do not know this unless you have hunted, but guns used for sporting purposes have limited magazine capacities. This is in accordance with state and federal laws: shotguns typically are limited to three or four rounds, and so are rifles. This is ostensibly to give the birds and animals a fighting chance.

Your basic semiautomatic large magazine assault rifle would be illegal as a hunting firearm because of the number of rounds it holds. If a Game Warden caught you stalking a deer with one, you would be fined. They are only useful for killing masses of people. That’s why soldiers carry them.

The fact that a crazy man can get one and shoot children, and then have the (expletive deleted) politicians do nothing because they are in bed with the old white guys in the NRA is simply unbelievable. If a space alien came here and saw it, that monster would wonder how this species has survived, being so careless with the lives of their progeny. They would wonder exactly what kind of fuckheads humans are. Then they would probe the orifices of some NRA people and see what kind.

The answer is easy: Throw the politicians out. Start over. Make your primary voting criterion, “is he is office now?” If so, vote against him. Get some new crooks in. And remember: if you happen to pass by one of them and he is on fire, do not even stop to urinate on him.

What th’?

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Why should we give credibility to a rodent like this when it comes to forecasting future weather? There are plenty of other, just as dumb animals we could use to advise us. Bats. Rats. Cows. How did this particular one get the honor?

Or is it all of them? Is the aggregate wisdom of every woodchuck combined to give the final viewpoint? And notice these things also are known as groundhogs and marmots. Pretty suspicious, having all these aliases.

There us something funny going on here.